Horrorscope Shorrorskope

My mother is a huge proponent of Indian Astrology. My brother and I have multiple Janam Patris (Birth Charts) drawn up by all the prominent Pandits my mother could get a hold of much to my chagrin – initially; but some of the incidents in the recent past are making me come around. Am I becoming a believer? Nowhere close to her standards because I don’t like to believe anything blindly.

I go by the philosophy of the old Hindi song from Boot Polish where the an old man sings to young children in an effort to instill confidence in Karma:

nannhey munney bachchey teri mutthi mein kaya hai?

muthi mein taqdeer hamari, humne kismet ko bas mein kiya hai

(lil young angels what’s in your palm?

in my palm is my destiny, I have taken control of my Kismet)

However, during one of my visits to India in 2006, my mother set up an appointment for me to go see a Pandit and get yet another Janam Kundli drawn up. She told me he does not see anyone easily and is in high demand, she had to pull some strings with her old doctor friend, I must not disrespect the doctor or the astrologer and keep the appointment. Slightly embarrassed, I took it up as a task assigned by mommy dearest – might as well indulge her.

Set up in a comfortable posh office in South Delhi, I found an old charming man dressed in a gray Safari suit waiting. As soon as I arrived, he took stalk of me by my outward appearance and asked me, “were you born in the US?” I responded negative. Delighted, he confirmed that if I could communicate in Hindi. I said, with much pride, “yes, fluently! I can also read and write.” The one-way conversation ensued while we waited for his assistant who had already taken my birth details at the reception desk, to bring a computer print out of the chart. He spoke about his American clientele and the “bratty” offspring of the Indian immigrants who visit him. His skewed perception of his American clientele irritated me at first and then amused me. I already had an idea of what to expect in the upcoming reading. Almost wanting to get up and leave, I talked myself into being patient and more adventurous with what this buffoon had to say. His reading was almost like a repatetive speech of … you kids from US and UK … your morals …. loosing the culture … bring Rs 25,000 for this gem and Rs. 15,000 for this puja and we can get God to excuse your sins … I promised him that I will return in a few days and took off highly offended and irritated … called my mother up and vented …

A week later, I ended up in Bangalore to visit with my dad’s best friend and also a friend to me. During a conversation, he told me that he had gotten into astrology after retirement. I related my unpleasant experience to him and immediately he took it upon himself to get my confidence back in Indian astrology. He immediately set up an appointment for me to go see his favorite and a highly acclaimed astrologer (to add to his credentials, he consults for many Politicians and Film Stars and was recently in America on a tour).

Again, caught in the web, I ended up at another appointment after swearing off of astrologers not a week before. He was much different in demeanor; not as chatty, he drew up the chart by hand – frequently conferring with many impressively big books. At the time, I was reading, “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramhansa Yogananda. I found a picture of Lahiri Mahasaya hanging in his office – I said, “Lahiri Mahasaya” and he smiled clearing up any apprehension about those “American-Indian brats”.

The reading lasted for about an hour and a half where he gave me good and bad news. Somewhere in the middle, he asked me, “I can’t imagine how you seem so optimistic; you are in your Sade-Sati phase with both your Dasha and Mahadasha running in Rahu.” It’s going to be like this till the end of 2008; how will you survive?” I said, “Ram naam can do wonders.” Impressed, he called my uncle in and prescribed a few Pujas to protect my life as he said there were going to be lot of mishaps like accidents and so forth. Although, the gentleman was nicer to me, I was a bit reluctant about the Pujas. However, my uncle would not have any of it, the reading was quite serious business – over the next few days all arrangements were made. I have to say, the Pujas were a very spiritual experience. The smell of havan kund, the chanting of Sanskrit Mantras by 11 Brahmins for six hours a day for three days was cleansing to say the least.

On the final day, the head Brahmin said, Dec. 2008, when the Rahu moves out, you may experience some kind of a mishap but it would not be too drastic. On Dec. 8, 2008, I got into an accident – although my car was totaled, I came out without a scratch.

Since the accident, I can’t stop thinking about the rest of the reading by the Brahmin… Is this Sade-Sati thing for real!!! I have had many people tell me that they noticed remarkable difference in the way things were working out for them after their Sade-Sati was over. Is that something to look forward to? But I don’t like to wait around for things to get better … I am the architect of my own destiny… But how much can be a coincident???