all or nothing at all

I think this gazal is from Jagjit Singh's Sajda - Zindagi tune lahu le ke diya. I was addicted to this set for a long time; my favorite being the Gham ka khazaana. From this gazal, these two lines remained with me ... I guess to a twenty +/- year old, the thought of wanting "all or nothing at all" must have seemed brave. I never paid attention to the whole couplet:

dil bhi kisi zid pe arra hai kisi bachche ki tarah

(the obstinate heart is behaving like a child)

yaa to sab kuch isey chahiya ya kuch bhi nahin

(either it wants it all or nothing at all)

I only absorbed the second line and chose to forget that that wanting "all" is sign of immaturity, like a child!

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

---------------

During my teaching days, I got a week long assignment in a forth grade classroom. During the week, for the art assignment, the class was working on a project which was due on Friday. When the kids finished and turned in their work, they had a choice between a glitter crayon or a sparkly pencil. On Friday, during the art class, when the kids saw the buckets of goodies pulled out and set on teacher's desk, the serious discussions began as to what would be the right choice when they finish their assignments. Their excitement was contagious - I almost wanted to think what I want to pick!

Turn by turn the kids started to trickle in. Some were clear about what they wanted, some waited and examined their choices meticulously and even asked for my opinion, and there was little Joe!

Joe had kept me on my toes throughout the week. I cannot forget his beautiful blue eyes. On the first day, during lunch when I lined them to walk to the cafeteria, he said to me, would you sit with me to eat with a twinkle in his eye. He had not dearth of friends, but here was a flirt in making. Always saying the right things; being at the right place on the playground and constantly guiding me around the classroom about where everything was. He was not an exceptional student but he completed all his work. That Friday morning, I knew I am going to miss Joe. I was looking forward to him coming up to pick his goody and also wanted to see his art assignment. He was among the first few people who finished early - he came up and turned in his work. I complimented him and he walked up to the baskets - a few minutes later, he came up to me to ask me what needs to be done to get one of each. "Miss, I want both". I said, "I am sorry, but you may only have one Joe. All your classmates only got one. Don't you think it would be unfair to them?" "Yes Miss - but I want one of each." There were no explinations why, no reasoning, and when I refused, he walked away without picking either. Everyone's attention was fixated on Joe. His classmates tried to explain to him and sell him the idea of either-or but he continued to sulk. As the class came to close, he was still stubborn about not picking either. I asked him to come and talk with me outside the classroom. I said to him since the goodies did not belong to me, I can't make the decision but if he picks one now and perhaps talk to his teacher about getting another on Monday, he won't be left with nothing. He refused!

Joe went home empty handed that day.

My week was over and I was out of there and on to another assignment.

----------

It has been a few years and I hope Joe has learned to make a choice.

I am glad, I have learned that there is not such thing as having it "all".