The non-gift of no-time

Sometimes the perfection of the moment is enough to make you realize how heavily flawed the whole situation is! Especially, in a relationship.

Those beautifully doctored phrases which you know must have been said many times to someone else before they wearily flatter you; you can hear the laziness in the tone of voice or even in the font of the text on your phone. You ignore it all because you have wished yourself to believe that somewhere deep down they are sincere. But you know that even if they are sincere, they are still exhausted. Because you are not special; you are just right, regrettably right! He wishes it was not you he felt this rightness with – someone else from the past he could not take his eyes off of; could not stop talking to even when she was gone. He is afraid, he could still find her – she hides somewhere in the future. He wants to wait but what if she is not there – that would mean you would be gone too. He wants to play the game of adventure wearing his comfy blanket.

You scan down your cell phone’s account activity details to let the practical side of you gauge and accept the how irreparably fractured your communication is. 132 minutes with one who makes an effort even after knowing you are emotionally unavailable. Another 93 minutes with someone who would keep you on the phone just to hear your pretentious laughter as he tells his silly stories at his new work-place. And the one who you really want to hear from does not pick up the phone – and if he does, he makes sure that the call is never longer than 15 minutes. You wonder if you two are capable of communicating for a longer time. And you can’t forget that he does not even know that only a few months back you went through a cancer-scare! He knows nothing about you …

In the span of those few daily texts – you can hear Time breathing down your neck … sucking in all the oxygen as you begin to choke, warm tears roll down your cheeks and all thoughts go numb. No more thinking!!!

On to the next day of being invisible… not for long though because you recently read the old Tennessee Williams’ quote, There is a time for departure, even when there is no certain place to go.

And even when these quotes from dead writers may go wrong, you have Bollywood songs ... those never go wrong ... tera mujhe kar jaati hain dooriyaan ... sataati hain dooriyaan ... maybe yeh dooriyan na hoti to hum bhi naa hotey!